On most days, you’ll find freshman Jessica Wagner writing poetry, sketching animals or immersed in a lengthy horror novel. As a full-time English major at Montclair State University, Wagner finds ways to define her life by many creative and artistic pursuits rather than by her epilepsy.
Though only formally diagnosed with a seizure disorder a year ago, Wagner has experienced seizures since childhood, and even survived a life-threatening stroke following an accidental separation from the breathing tube as an infant.
“Luckily, the stroke happened so early on in my development that it wouldn’t affect my growth as I got older,” said Wagner. “I still had epilepsy, but I was able to become very high functioning… I was able to overcome it.”
Epilepsy is a complicated, often misunderstood medical condition that can have a variety of symptoms and causes. Wagner has experienced “absent” seizures, which are characterized by brief, immediate lapses in awareness or consciousness and can be difficult to spot.
While their peers may be unable to notice when an absent seizure takes place, they can pose an obstacle for people with epilepsy in places such as universities that require focus.
“A lot of people just think epilepsy is falling and flailing around,” Wagner said. “In actuality, I’ve experienced my brain going blank. I wouldn’t be aware of my surroundings… I’m stuck in this trance state of seeing everything go on around me, with blurry vision. Afterwards, I’ll have these memory gaps.”
Another challenge Wagner experienced due to stroke complications was some of the social differences between her upbringing and that of other children around her.
“I went through a lot of physical and occupational therapy as a child, and was always monitored closely by doctors,” Wagner said. “I did gymnastics until I was 10 years old to regain the strength lost to nerve damage. It was difficult, having all that time needed to go towards developing my strength. I wasn’t really able to do everything else that kids my age should be doing.”
Though epilepsy affects Wagner in the educational space, she credits the disability accommodations offered at Montclair State and a positive attitude as being critical to helping her manage these symptoms on campus.
“I think Montclair State does really well with having the Disability Resource Center (DRC) available, and really focuses on helping students with these accommodations,” Wagner said. “I would also say that having that mentality of staying positive is key to helping me through an epileptic episode. Medication has also helped me control my condition, and has made seizures infrequent, though I still have other symptoms.”
Despite these accommodations, however, Wagner notes that epilepsy is stigmatized and that education is a worthwhile initiative to better support people with her condition.
“If I had to improve one thing, I feel like having more people be educated on what it means to be epileptic and how those conditions can impact someone would contribute to more people getting the help they need,” Wagner said. “I hope we can go forward in educating people more about epilepsy, especially by contributing to research in the medical field.”
In terms of what she hopes to accomplish in the future, Wagner, a freshman English major, imagines a world where greater advocacy for epilepsy gives way to more compassion for people with disabilities. David Bien-Aime | The Montclarion
In terms of what she hopes to accomplish in the future, Wagner imagines a world where greater advocacy for epilepsy gives way to more compassion for people with disabilities.
“A lot of people don’t take epilepsy as seriously as they should,” Wagner said. “I’m really hoping that everyone can be more understanding and have an understanding of what this condition can really do to someone. I want to advocate for people with this condition.”
Wagner encourages anyone interested in learning more about epilepsy to visit the Epilepsy Foundation, a charitable organization where one can get involved via fundraising, volunteering, or donations.
“I want to let people know, especially with any disability, that they can live a fulfilling life,” Wagner said.
