Home Entertainment ‘Crush’ Is So Bad It’s Still Not Good

‘Crush’ Is So Bad It’s Still Not Good

by Hannah Effinger

Hulu’s newest queer rom-com, “Crush,” has finally dropped after months of anticipation following the scandal around lead actresses Rowan Blanchard and Auli’i Cravalho’s public TikTok beef.

The movie revolves around Paige (Blanchard) who is framed for the schoolwide vandalism attributed to “KingPun,” who leaves (very good) pun-themed graffiti around their campus. In an effort to not be suspended, which would ruin her chances at getting into CalArts Summer Program, she offers to join the track team (which doesn’t really make sense) since that would also mean spending time with her longtime crush, Gabriela (Isabella Ferreira).

The movie revolves around Paige (Blanchard) who is framed for the schoolwide vandalism attributed to “KingPun." Photo courtesy of Hulu

The movie revolves around Paige (Rowan Blanchard) who is framed for the school wide vandalism attributed to “KingPun.”
Photo courtesy of Hulu

However, Paige ends up spending more time with Gabriela’s sister, AJ (Cravalho) and well, for the sake of being spoiler-free, you’ll have to watch and see if you’re curious as to how that plays out.

Now, I hate to tell you this, but Paige is not getting into CalArts either way.

Paige’s drawings are just about as bad as Blanchard’s performance, which is just so so bland. Every single word she says comes out flat, even if we were attempting to blame it on the script, which isn’t too terrible but blatantly steals jokes from other popular queer movies and at times sounds like a dramatic reading of viral tweets. Her costar, Cravalho, does not suffer the same fate. Cravalho outshines pretty much everyone in this film, except for the hurdle that Paige wipes out on at the beginning of the movie.

Cravalho outshines everyone in this film. Photo courtesy of Hulu

Auli’i Cravalho outshines everyone in this film.
Photo courtesy of Hulu

Now that was an Oscar-winning performance.

My favorite part about this movie is its soundtrack. So if you’re looking for something to add to your summer playlist, check out “Kerosene” by McClenney or “Heavenly Maybe” by Gengahr.

I will give it the fact that it is kind of cute, albeit in a nauseating-please-make-it-stop-I-hate-every-character-except-AJ-and-Gabriela-kind of way. It lacked the kind of cutesy emotion that makes us love rom-coms. I genuinely got more from Addison Rae in “He’s All That.” The most believable acting was in any scene where Blanchard and Cravalho are supposed to dislike each other.

"Crush" lacked the kind of cutesy emotion that makes us love rom-coms. Photo courtesy of Hulu

“Crush” lacked the kind of cutesy emotion that makes us love rom-coms.
Photo courtesy of Hulu

Honestly, I was disappointed by this movie. Hiring two ex-Disney stars to play love interests made my expectations pretty high, but it just did not deliver the way I expected it to.It felt incredibly rushed in the way important plot points kept happening but were swept under the rug in order to keep the movie under two hours.

There just wasn’t enough time to flesh out a solid relationship. Emphasis wasn’t placed on the right moments, making it seem like Paige’s life-changing love story happened over the course of a week.

My last complaint about this movie lies in the fact that even though it is a rom-com centered around two women, we only actually see them kiss two or three times. Sure, there are a few background character references to queer relationships, but the majority of the physical contact made in the movie is between a straight couple. It kind of felt like their relationship was being shoved in my face to compensate for the fact the stars barely touch each other.

For what it is, “Crush” is an okay movie. I didn’t like it, but I’m also very critical of movies like this because I think it’s important to give queer kids good, well-written representation- rather than having them settle for an hour and a half of Blanchard gritting her teeth at biphobia jokes and saying random animal facts.

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