Fill The Void This Finals Week With Oreo Bars

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Published December 12, 2022
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The Montclarion
Sweeten up finals week with an Oreo bar. Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

While all the lucky people who aren’t college students are still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, putting up their Christmas trees and singing “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas,” you and I have lost the light in our eyes as Canvas notifications light up our screens. Here’s a recipe to treat yourself and to have a small break from finals chaos. I would say it’s out of the kindness of my heart, but I do have to keep my job as assistant feature editor so…

I am so kind that I made this recipe microwave-friendly. If you haven’t burnt down your kitchen following my last recipe, maybe you’ll get lucky with this one.

This recipe is great to make when the fear of academic failure is keeping you awake at night, or if you just need a pick-me-up after a study session. Whenever you make this recipe is between you and whatever higher power you look up to.

Ingredients, measurements and prices (This recipe only feeds one because you’ll be studying alone anyways.)

  • 3 marshmallows ($0.99)
  • 3 Oreos, double-stuffed if you love yourself ($3.89)
  • 2 spoonfuls of spreadable butter ($2.89)

Total price: $7.77, I used Target prices because I will absolutely need a Target trip for serotonin.

Cooking Instructions

I called it “cooking” so you and I can feel a little better about microwaving Oreos. This recipe is so easy, I’m tempted to leave you with the ingredients so I can take a na- I mean study- while you figure it out yourself.

Step 1

Separate the Oreo cream from the cookie and put it in a bowl with your three marshmallows. Didn’t I tell you this was easy?

Add three marshmallows to the Oreo cookie cream.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Add three marshmallows to the Oreo cookie cream.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Step 2

Set the cookies aside, add two spoonfuls of butter to your bowl and microwave everything for one minute and 10 seconds. This is your cue to somehow burn your kitchen down, get back to studying or read my other articles.

Step 3

Now is the time to let out all your frustrations caused by that 100-level class that demands 300-level class work! While your marshmallow mixture is in the microwave, crush your cookies into pieces. The pieces shouldn’t be too small, so don’t go too crazy. Maybe go to therapy instead.

Crush the Oreo cookies.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Crush the Oreo cookies.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Step 4

Take your marshmallow recipe out of the microwave and mix it to ensure everything is well incorporated. Add your crushed cookies to your marshmallow mixture and mix again. It will look stringy and spider-webby, bringing back memories of dancing dressed as a cactus on Halloweekend. Good times.

Add the crushed cookies to the marshmallow mixture.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Add the crushed cookies to the marshmallow mixture.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Step 5

Once the mixture has cooled, you can use your hands or a spoon to form it into a rectangle to be reminiscent of said Halloweekend candy, or whatever shape makes you happy. I personally don’t have the energy to be artistic, so I’m going with an Oreo blob. Please wait for the mixture to be cool to the touch though, I really don’t need to deal with a lawsuit right now.

Once the mixture is cool, shape it.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Once the mixture is cool, shape it.
Chelsea Pujols | The Montclarion

Step 6

Place your Oreo bar or heart or star or ball or blob in the fridge for about 10 minutes. I have zero patience and self-control, so I waited five. Maybe now is the time to call Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS).

And there you have it! A sweet treat to sweeten up your finals week, your regular week or your life if it’s really that bad. I can’t guarantee that these Oreo bars will fix everything, but again, therapy is an option depending on how this semester ends for you.

Anyways, happy finals! (Even though that sounds like an oxymoron).

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