Roe v. Wade, a landmark decision for reproductive rights, which stated that a person’s right to an abortion is protected by the 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution, came to an end after almost 50 years of precedent.
It has since been overturned by the conservative-packed Supreme Court, courtesy of the orange-skin-toned excuse of a man who served our country one long presidential term.
Countless women, transgender men and gender-nonconforming people across the United States have been denied autonomy over their bodies. This will also disproportionately affect middle-class and poor people of color that lack the resources to have an abortion.
Not only that, America has the highest maternity mortality rate among all developed countries according to The Guardian.
No amount of words can begin to explain the rage, frustration and sadness that I feel.
We might live in a blue, Democratic state as is New Jersey, but what about those that don’t have the luxury of that? Those that don’t wish to be pregnant, or have to abort because there are medical factors that put their lives at risk? They will be punished for taking control of their bodies and legally, so will their doctors and nurses.
And yet, when I log into my social media, all I see are those directly affected by the overturning of Roe and a select few that have taken a small time of their day to step into someone else’s shoes and feel an ounce of compassion for the hardships of others.
However, many of the men I follow and know personally have been quiet about this. Male friends, colleagues and classmates that I respect and admire, that I thought cared about the world around us have chosen to look away. You haven’t even given me crickets to fill in the loud silence that I hear from you. Why have you chosen to turn a blind eye?
I’m here to tell you that I could not care less about your excuses and can only express how disappointed I am in you.
I don’t take pleasure in engaging in a discussion with ignorant, bigoted people because it’s worse than talking to a brick wall. So for you pro-lifers out there, cry me a river. You are way too low in my moral compass for me to even think about acknowledging you.
What angers me is that I know of men whose partners take birth control and subject themselves to the hundreds of side effects that make their lives a miserable hell. But when men get vasectomies, they are praised and celebrated while taking their partners’ medical sacrifice for granted as long as they get to have unprotected sex.
While I don’t believe vasectomies are the bare minimum, as it is a medical procedure with important factors that should be taken into account, men are often put on a pedestal for showing basic human emotions as if they are incapable of it.
I could tell you to not take this as a call-out or a blame game of who’s doing more or less, but as an opportunity, since men benefit the most from our patriarchal society. To do better because I know you are capable of it. To look at the privilege that you hold as a cisgender man, even more, if you are heterosexual and white, and how this is the time to speak up and act. But I am tired of asking for your help to no avail.
Why should we have to educate and urge you to care about what’s going on? Why do I find myself thinking about how to appeal to you most so you will think we are worthy of your attention? Why do you have to be told things like “What if that was your mother or sister going through it?” for you to understand? Does a person have to mean something to you or serve a purpose in your life in any way for you to give a damn?
I and the entirety of Americans able to become pregnant are not responsible for making you understand. Your silence makes you ignorant and complicit in the abuse that we are all going through and how this decision will affect us in the years to come.
Surface-level awareness about the sociopolitical state of the United States gives the average American enough insight into the fact that Republicans or Democrats, we have been betrayed by our government once again and this will not be the end of it.
Now that abortion is no longer protected as a constitutional right, I urge you to delete period tracking apps as your data is highly sensitive information, be well-informed on abortion resources ahead of time and donate to non-profit abortion funds if you are able. The National Network of Abortion Funds lists several organizations in all U.S. states.
Dear men, I hope you turn to reason and if you cannot truly have a kind and feeling heart, decide to fight for a better future for yourself, your friends and the family that you could have one day.