“Happy Birthday. I love you. Call me when you get a chance.”
It was the last message sophomore guard Malvina Sullivan ever sent her father.
On January 22, she woke up like it was any other game day. The Montclair State University women’s basketball team was set to take on Rowan University. But it wasn’t just any day—it was her father’s 68th birthday.
He never responded. But that didn’t worry her—her dad wasn’t one to be on his phone. She went to class, got ready for the game, and played. Afterward, she decided to stay back with a few friends to watch the men’s basketball game.
By then, she had called her dad three times. Still no answer.
At halftime, she decided to head back to her dorm. She had forgotten her ID and was waiting for a lockout when her phone rang. It was her brother—someone who rarely calls.
“I need you to sit down,” he said.
That was all it took.
“I immediately knew my dad had passed away,” Sullivan said. “My entire world fell apart. The aggressive change of emotion—from celebrating a huge NJAC win to realizing my life had changed forever—was surreal.”
According to Sullivan, the days that followed were a blur.
“Just being in my childhood home, where I had never spent a night without my father, was overwhelming,” she said.
She slept in his bed beside her mom for weeks, soaking in his presence through scent, silence and memory. It gave her a sense of comfort, like he wasn’t far away.
She leaned on her mother heavily. “Her strength during those days was everything,” Sullivan said.
She didn’t eat. She didn’t sleep. But one thing became clear: she had to return—not just to school, but to her team.
Basketball had always been part of Sullivan’s bond with her dad. He never let her forget how proud he was. Whenever she struggled to balance school and sports, her father was the first person she called. She said that he motivated her in a way that no other could.
“Basketball was a part of our relationship,” she said. “He was my biggest supporter. He never failed to tell me how good I really am.”
Women's basketball player Malvina Sullivan, photoshoot. Photo courtesy of Montclair State Athletics.
According to Sullivan, as painful as it was, returning to the team felt right.
“The girls on my team are my sisters,” Sullivan said. “Basketball is my outlet. It helped take my mind off what waited for me at home.”
Her teammates became her backbone. They overwhelmed her with love and support—and when Montclair State pushed through the second half of the season, something deeper was driving them.
When the Red Hawks won the NJAC Tournament, it wasn’t just a championship. Sullivan said it was personal.
“That moment meant everything,” Sullivan said. “I definitely felt like I was playing with a chip on my shoulder. I felt him with me the whole time, giving me confidence to leave my internal issues off the court and just play.”
Montclair State Women's celebrating their NJAC championship. Photo courtesy of Montclair State Athletics
Montclair’s NCAA Tournament run ended in the second round. When it did, Sullivan said that the grief returned in full force.
“I no longer had basketball to distract me,” Sullivan said. “But my teammates were there again, giving me a shoulder to cry on.”
She credits junior guard Alexis Strollo for always knowing when she needed support.
“She would just hug me and listen,” Sullivan said. “There’s nothing anyone can say to make it better. But just knowing you’re loved and supported by 15 girls—that got me through it.”
“I pray every day. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up,” she said. Her prayers are her telephone to her father, through God.
She believes he’s in a better place, in his healthiest body, looking down on her and protecting her. Her faith guides her every day and she finds peace in knowing she’ll see him again.
She finds peace at Yankee Stadium— a place she and her dad cherished together. She feels his presence at every game she attends, which brings her an unwavering sense of peace.
Sullivan also watches childhood home videos.
“Seeing how much my dad loved me—it’s beautiful.”
Her dad treated her like a princess. He loved her with everything he had and never hesitated to show it. He even requested to wear a pink tie in his casket—because pink is her favorite color.
And when life gets too heavy or the silence gets too loud, Sullivan said that sophomore guard and roommate Amanda Castro is always there.
“She listens at any hour of the day. She just shows up for me.”
Sullivan has advice for fellow athletes who may be dealing with the same struggles.
“To any athlete dealing with loss, take it one day at a time,” Sullivan said. “Celebrate every small moment. Lean on your teammates and most importantly, play for the ones you’re mourning.”
She hopes athletes—and coaches—begin prioritizing mental health more intentionally.
“You don’t need to pretend to be strong,” Sullivan said. “Sometimes strength is just letting people help you.”
Sullivan didn’t just survive a heartbreaking season. She showed everyone what real strength looks like—through tears, through faith and through the power of love.
She’s a reminder that being an athlete isn’t always about medals and celebrations. Sometimes, it’s grief, grit and grace.
Your life can always change. Love the people God gave you—because one day, He’ll need them back.
She keeps going. One day at a time.
