I grace grandeur with my presence
As I wake up to take my antidepressants
This just might be a good day
My mind’s treasures still bolted with locks
And I’m desperate
To find the key
It’s a search that has now consumed me
I can’t stop
Thinking
Of that post car crash adrenaline
From his facade of a gentleman
Wanting love bites that eat away at dignity
Or some company, some counsel
Or a simple ounce of sympathy
I want to forget
The crafted love spells
that spelled nothing
but the word ‘stupid’ on my forehead
I don’t want to remember
But I can’t stop
The Freudian slips that make one fall
Back into the same spiral of sadness
Searching for the solid, straight path
Well now I realize
I understand Plath
And you’re no key
You’re just as bolted up as me
I spend the days on my own pedestal
Riding my high horse
Till the night takes me off course
And I fall
Left stranded by my stallion
Wanting those memories to leave
Since they’ve taught me nothing, only that
Hope is naive
But I can’t stop
…
In my ears I hear: ‘Wonder if it’s all for you?’
The tears I could mop
Falling like Gloucesters at the clifftop
Or the joys of a simple coffee shop
I do wonder
If it’s all for me
