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Do You Have My Size?

by Lucia Looz

If I had a dollar for every time I left a store with nothing, I, along with the rest of the plus-size community, would be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

I enter mainstream stores knowing they most likely don’t carry my size and if they do, their sizes are not accurate. An XL T-shirt is actually a L T-shirt, and the only 2XL clothes available are unflattering hoodies.

Entering plus-size stores is an entirely different story. I leave with shopping bags full of cute, graphic T-shirts, jeans that hug my curves and the most comfortable bras I’ve ever tried on. The store is full of women like me, wearing the same clothes from the racks and finally finding clothing for their body shape. The dressing room used to be my enemy, but it is now part of a space where I not only feel seen but included.

Yet despite the fact I go whenever there’s a big sale and use my coupons, I never leave without triple digits on the register. The stores try their best, always offering sales, but even their efforts can’t prevent the inevitable.

Logically, plus-size clothing requires more fabric which increases the price, however, it is an unbelievable margin between a $15 shirt from Forever 21 to a $30 one from Torrid. As a broke college student, I am in no position to rely solely on sales and coupons.

It could all be summarized in my current predicament of longing to elevate my style. I recently noticed how I settle for cute and casual clothing, but nothing ever makes a statement. I yearn for crop tops, leather skirts and bodycon dresses, yet something always holds me back.

Is this truly my style? Am I trying to be someone I’m not? Would I look good in this or would I look like I’m trying too hard? Everything spirals into whether or not I will always dress like a teenage girl instead of a young woman.

My email is always flooded with sites advertising fall sales, and Halloween is getting closer. I decided to save my new wardrobe after the holidays and my birthday, but I promised myself I would step out of my comfort zone this Halloween. Compared to last year’s cutesy Velma Dinkley from “Scooby-Doo,” I would be the fiery Lola Bunny from “Space Jam.”

I am stuck in between FashionNova Curve and Amazon’s versions of Lola Bunny. Both costumes include a white basketball jersey labeled “Tune Squad” against the infamous “Looney Tunes” backdrop and white, tight basketball shorts. They also include headbands with bunny ears and a cottontail on the back of the shorts. However, between the two sites, the pricing and advertising are almost polar opposites.

FashionNova Curve has a plus-size model and I know the sizing will be right, but the overall price is $70 excluding tax and shipping. Amazon’s model is thin and the costume fits her loosely, and I am unsure if Amazon provides true sizes on their website. I am drawn to the plus-sized version, where the costume fits the model like a glove, but $45 with free shipping is tempting. I must choose between expensive quality or cheap uncertainty.

I find myself weaving through what the fashion industry provides and with finding some options also comes massive confusion. Why must I always be in an ultimatum? Why must I find exclusive stores and almost always shop online instead of every place having a plus-size section?

Why must I constantly battle for comfort and confidence because I am simply bigger than everyone else? And why must I burn a hole in my card in order to achieve this?

I am waiting for the day I no longer need to ask these questions. In the meantime, I will proudly display my body as Lola Bunny and eat my Halloween candy as I should.

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