Home Homepage Latest Stories Social Media Challenges: The Only Thing More Thrilling than Cheating Death is the Retweets That Follow

Social Media Challenges: The Only Thing More Thrilling than Cheating Death is the Retweets That Follow

by Brian Rooney

Millennials are accused of being oversensitive, unprepared for the real world and, as we are called on Fox and Friends, “anti-gun violence imbeciles.” I believe, to a point, they may be right about us. However, I also believe everyone is simply a product of how they were raised – no matter what generation they come from.

So maybe it is not our fault we turned out this way. But where did the “snowflakiness” begin?

The reason millennials do not respond well to hardship is simple: Nobody is eating Play-Doh anymore. I saw a lot of children open a lot of gifts over this past holiday season, not one of them was toxic. I was concerned because that is how I learned to navigate the world. I ate Play-Doh, cheated death and then I knew not to do that anymore. You know what people who did not eat Play-Doh are doing now? Biting into Tide Pods.

People say millennials are lazy, but our social media trends say otherwise. We are not receiving the due credit for going above and beyond our comfort zones to partake in the latest challenge. I am talking about the “Running Man” challenge, the “Mannequin” challenge and the “Harlem Shake.”

Initially, most people seemed to be on board. “The Cinnamon” challenge was one of the first, which showcased a white teenage boy hacking up powder, but not in the cool way like Robert Downey Jr. This was on a more disturbing but funny level.

Then came planking, which included laying stiff in strange places. It was playful and harmless and then exploded after it was done on “The Office,” which, by the way, has been ruined for me by its cult-like fan base. I mean, find a new show, please. There is a lot of good stuff on Hulu now, and if you do not have Hulu, I will send you my brother’s friend’s cousin’s stepdad’s niece’s dachshund’s password. No problem.

Now, things have gotten a little out of hand. The Bird Box Challenge, based on the Netflix film that certainly did not live up to the hype, caused a car crash after a 17-year-old girl blindfolded herself while driving with a 16-year-old passenger.

The “In My Feelings” challenge led to many people being hit by cars while dancing outside of their moving vehicles. However, a man in Florida did become a viral sensation from doing so. Despite being struck by oncoming traffic, the only thing that was hit was the jackpot.

My favorite of the social media trend has got to be the killer clown phenomena that swept our great nation in the fall of 2016. I mean, people were afraid to go outside it was so real. Although it was mostly just bored teenagers trying to scare each other, the craze became deadly when a stabbing was reported in Pennsylvania.

I do not ever want to hear millennials called unambitious again. Imagine being so motivated that you are willing to stab.

This is what is defining our generation: Recording dangerous behavior for digital acceptance. We were taught that what we think is important and that we have to share our natural gifts with the world. Unfortunately, not everyone can make it.

So, what is the answer? Social media. You learn how to play your favorite song? Post it. You put together a verse of lyrics? Post it! You had a funny experience at the supermarket? Post it. However, posting a piano cover on Instagram does not make you a musician.

Sharing a recording of yourself repeating words over a garage band beat does not make you a rapper. Getting retweets on your Twitter thread about the weird thing your cashier said to you does not make you a comedian. If you think you are worth listening to, find a stage and see if you actually are.

And nobody cares about your $18 salad, Skylar. Just because they put a fried egg on top of it does not mean you are interesting.


This satirical piece is written by Brian Rooney, a comedy writer for The Montclarion.

You may also like

Leave a Comment

WP-Backgrounds by InoPlugs Web Design and Juwelier Schönmann