The Shorts Epidemic

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Published February 6, 2019
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The Montclarion
Rebecca Serviss | The Montclarion

Most students prepare for the cold as anyone would: Winter coats, jeans, bigger socks and even hat and gloves to boot, if it was absolutely necessary. What is not necessary is what I have been witnessing on this campus for the last four years, and it’s completely unacceptable. Shorts.

There are people out here wearing shorts during the coldest part of the semester. I’m in utter shock whenever I see one of these heathens walking around campus like it is a warm spring day. It’s barbaric, and it needs to be recognized as an actual problem.

Considering the last week we had weather-wise, there is no possible logical explanation as to why these people wear basketball shorts when the high of the day is 9 degrees.

We also go to school on top of a mountain that is in a wind tunnel, so it feels even colder than that. I can barely text on my phone without my fingers feeling like they’re going to snap off, let alone leave my calves exposed.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have worn shorts this winter. I’m not proud of my actions, but there are easy answers to this. Firstly, I wear shorts sometimes when I’m inside with the heat going off. That’s not an issue, and I’m not going to bash anyone for what they do in the comfort of their dorm.

I have worn shorts when I go to yoga, but I immediately put on jeans when I’m done with that class. I go to a stall and swap pants and go about my day from there. So, unless everyone on this campus is doing exactly what I’m doing, which I highly doubt, then that’s fine and I’m willing to deal with it.

Seriously though, it’s very cold this winter and there are more disadvantages than advantages when you’re not prepared for the cold. People have died in Chicago and it felt like it was -20 degrees there, so what makes anyone think they’ll be fine with wearing shorts during the polar vortex?

I can only assume that everyone wearing shorts now has no functioning nerves in their lower legs. The numbness they already feel must be something that medical science has yet to discover the cure to. It could also be pure stupidity that’s the cause of this issue and that’s what I have been believing for a while now.

When I say “everyone,” I just mean the male students on campus. I have yet to see any women in my time here at Montclair State University wear shorts or anything short in these frigid times.

Speaking of women, what’s University President Susan Cole’s stance on this epidemic of shorts-wearing students on campus? They are a health concern to everyone on her campus and there needs to be a newsletter or at least a mass email about some kind of dress code that’s only applied for the late autumn to early spring months. This is nothing short of the biggest problem facing our campus today.

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