College means papers, which means doing research, submitting outlines and annotated bibliographies, peer reviews and actually writing the paper.
After weeks of stress and large chunks of hair missing from one’s scalp, the paper is finally completed.
As the warm paper slides out of the printer, a sigh of relief can be heard, but then, that stress rushes back as one realizes they do not have a stapler to secure their pages together.
In the past, students would run across campus in a frenzied state in search of the mystic stapler. Oftentimes, the single stapler at one location would be broken and the wild goose chase would continue until another stapler could be located. At that time, nearly all computer labs would have paperclips, but paperclips cannot be compared to their much superior cousin — the staple.
Luckily, today’s Montclair State University freshmen will never have to experience running across campus five minutes before class for a single staple. The seniors and juniors who remember those difficult days would not wish them on their worst enemy, as everyone should have easy access to the ultimate in page connection technology.
So, today everyone has that ability. There are staplers on the lower level of Sprague Library, on the fifth floor of University Hall outside the computer lab and in the computer lab in the Student Center. In most locations, there is even more than one. That means that when one is broken, there is still another to use or that more than one student can staple at once.
With so many staplers on campus, the university could even consider stapling as an intramural team sport.
While Montclair State constantly boasts about their new buildings or fancy recognitions, what they should really be boasting about is all the staplers we now have on campus. The additional staplers have allowed the student population to be at ease, as the days of running around campus to find a stapler are over.
Students no longer have to resort to the barbaric ways of holding paper together such as just folding the corners of the paper, which science has shown to be wildly ineffective. Now, students at Montclair State can have papers that actually stay together, and this is all thanks to the staplers.
Even though it has taken years longer than expected for the stapler population on campus to increase, students are finally able to see a significant change. Hopefully, the stapler population will continue to grow as years pass.
Staplers are an extremely important aspect of student life and, although there is always more room for another stapler on the Information Technology desk, students seem to finally have their stapling needs met.