Illustration by Miles Leigh Blake (Instagram: @Clown_of_Kings)
A freshman starting at Montclair State University in the fall has a front row seat to numerous nifty experiences: an array of exciting horizons glisten with new faces, organizations, studies, opportunities, and romances.
In this bustling environment, one 18-year-old man developed a cosmic crush on a classmate that felt out-of-this world. This university newcomer discovered far too late that she literally embodied that adjective. For years afterward, he would be haunted by one profound question: “how in the world had my assessment of this woman been off by light-years?”
Like many of his peers, Jack was still processing the change of scene at Montclair State University. The novelty of everything blared as brightly as the August sun, and the heat was on in more ways than one. The life of a fledgling Red Hawk meant endless red tape that had Jack seeing, well, red.
Jack’s room in Machuga Heights seemed as impersonal as it was back in Scranton. Navigating the University Bookstore proved to be a chapter in frustration. Books for two of his classes were still on order. Freshman orientation felt more like disorientation. There was so much information to swallow, in so little time.
The freshman joked that the university’s motto, Carpe Diem, should be Carpe Museum. He told himself, “there’s just so much for a brand-new freshman to see and do here!” Yet, he would find the most impressionable exhibit of this “museum” in his macroeconomics course. This showcase would far outshine the statistically stale professor teaching this class.
Initially, Jack’s first day in economics started like a tedious powerpoint presentation. The doctorate-level dolt rambled on endlessly about the course’s syllabus and the semester’s topics. He spoke as if he had been teaching the class since the Dutch West India Company days, and Jack felt like trading his seat for a cabana in Copacabana. The class had already begun to grate on him, like an out-of-tune piano.
But just then, something caught Jack’s eye, and the discovery hit him like a forte high note. A girl seated across the classroom was smiling at him impishly. Jack felt an instant gravitational pull towards her. His curiosity piqued at warp speed. He simply could not wait to open hailing frequencies to this enchantress. He did not need a Starfleet science officer to tell him when a beguiling opportunity flashed on the horizon, but he would definitely need Starfleet’s finest to get out of the predicament that would eventually materialize.
After class, Jack introduced himself to his newfound interest. Her name was Katarzyna. She said she was a Polish exchange student. The lanky blond freshman, like Jack, was an undeclared major. Both, however, declared a burning desire to get better acquainted. They walked downstairs to the crowded Feliciano School of Business lobby, where they sat and talked.
Jack had just begun getting to know Katarzyna, yet the chemistry he sensed between them was extraordinary. He felt that being alone with the fetching foreigner was just as exciting as fording the final frontier.
As the semester progressed, Jack met up with Katarzyna at various spots around campus. Their rendezvous resembled a déjà vu freshman orientation tour. They visited Starbucks, Saxby’s, the Student Center Cafeteria, Freeman Dining Hall, and The Plaza at Blanton Hall, eating and chatting along the way.
They hung out in the first-floor lounge of Schmitt Hall, the Sprague Library, and the School of Communication’s atrium. They did the walking loop from Cole Hall around Richardson Hall and back. They went to the Yogi Berra stadium and then the Floyd Hall arena. Jack and Katarzyna ventured all over campus so frequently that they soon became honorary members of the Shuttle Bus Auxiliary. The key difference, however, was that their circuits were far less routine.
Jack loved hearing Katarzyna’s stories about Polish culture and history. He also fancied her charming personality and soft-spoken voice. Katarzyna liked Jack’s heartfelt account of growing up in West Orange and his childhood escapades spent exploring New York City. She also respected his confidence, his all-encompassing sense of direction.
But it was not long before strange things began to happen. One night, Jack was startled awake in his dorm room. He heard Katarzyna’s voice in his mind. The weirdest part was that she seemed to be talking to Jack telepathically. She repeated, over and over, that she looked forward to seeing him tomorrow. Oddly, Katarzyna then mentioned she wanted to travel far away with him.
Jack stared at the ceiling with an incredulous look on his face. Ultimately, he chalked up the eccentric happening to an overactive imagination, and promptly returned to sleep. But this was just the beginning of the strangeness.
Jack woke up the next day with a bad headache and flu symptoms. He called the Student Health Center in Blanton Hall for an appointment, and visited that same afternoon. On his way there, he heard Katarzyna’s distinctive Polish accent in his mind again. She said she was going to meet him in front of Blanton Hall to help him with his sickness. Although stunned, Jack shrugged it off as some stupid psychosomatic nonsense. He was sick, after all, and so the young man continued on foot up the hill to Webster Road.
Upon approaching Blanton Hall, Jack was surprised to see Katarzyna waiting there for him.
“You look a bit under the weather!” she said.
Jack explained that he was en route to the Student Health Center with a headache and a flu-like weakness. Katarzyna sympathetically placed her right hand on Jack’s shoulder. Then, she waved her palm in front of Jack’s head. Mysteriously, his symptoms disappeared in an instant, leaving the flabbergasted undergraduate struggling to make head or tails of the miracle.
“What just happened?” he asked in astonishment.
“Relax,” Katarzyna said softly, “Jack, one of the things you have yet to learn about me is that I am a psychic healer. It’s just something I was born with. It sounds crazy, but it’s the truth.”
Jack stood there, mouth agape. He could not believe what he had just heard. The revelation finally forced him to put two and two together.
“Katarzyna. Last night, I heard your voice inside my mind. Was that really you, talking to me?”
“Yes, it most certainly was,” she said.
As Jack would ultimately discover, Katarzyna had an even eerier side to unveil.
Shortly thereafter, Jack reported for his appointment at the Student Health Center. He found that his ailment had indeed vanished, and that his health was normal. However, the same could not be said for his rapport with Katarzyna.
A few nights later, Jack was toiling away on his laptop in his Machuga Heights dorm room. He was working on an essay for his Effective Writing I class. Out of nowhere, an intruding thought transference interrupted Jack’s concentration. It was Katarzyna, and she had a zany proposition in mind.
Katarzyna told Jack that she wanted to meet him on Friday at noon in the Student Center cafeteria. She wanted to discuss what she called “the most adventurous weekend excursion.” Jack thought Katarzyna meant a night out in Manhattan or, at most, a weekend in New England. Her next telepathic comment, though, really caught Jack’s attention.
“Manhattan or New England can’t even remotely compare to where I want to go with you. I’ll meet you near the Student Center cafeteria entrance on Friday at noon to discuss this further. All jokes aside, this is a once in a life time opportunity,” she communicated.
Jack sensed clouds on the horizon. Even so, his skepticism was far eclipsed by his curiosity. He needed to know where in the world this mysterious Polish exchange student wanted to go.
Come Friday, Jack showed up in the cafeteria just before noon. The cavernous facility had its usual modest turnout for that day. Jack sat down at an empty table about 10 feet from the main entrance. The vibe in the cafeteria was slow-moving and odd. At a nearby table, five upperclassmen chatted away rambunctiously like they were at a frat party. The surrounding scene was a quieter mix of smaller student groups eating, texting and talking.
He then spotted Katarzyna sauntering through the Student Center entryway. She was wearing a T-shirt sporting the traditional Polish white eagle and moseyed up to Jack. He greeted her at his solitary table with a curious smile. Katarzyna’s approach was nearly blindsided by a brunette beatnik with tattered jeans and tatted-up arms. The maverick scurried towards a table with three similarly-attired women, and Jack was briefly distracted by how they all looked like they had just teleported in from Woodstock.
Katarzyna plopped down next to Jack. Her bubbly demeanor melted away any hint of misgivings that he may have harbored.
“Hi Jack,” she said sonorously. “How are things?”
Jack looked at his hands on the table.
“I’m hanging in there. I’m still getting used to life at Montclair State. That freshman orientation leader wasn’t kidding when he said it’ll take a full semester for college life to feel normal.”
Then he gazed straight at Katarzyna.
“And how’s life treating you?”
Katarzyna laughed.
“Well, Jack, try trading places with me! Starting your freshman year at Montclair as an international student is double the challenge. Then there’s dealing with a new culture in a whole new setting. That’s nothing to say about visa requirements, employment restrictions, and out-of-state tuition rates. It’s all enough to make me feel more alien than I really am,” she said with conviction.
Jack shuddered upon hearing Katarzyna’s confession.
“What do you mean by ‘alien’? Poland may be 4,000 miles away, but you come from the same planet as I do.”
Katarzyna was hardly moved by that statement.
“Oh Jack, you would be surprised!”
Jack shrugged off the Polish student’s assertion as histrionic hyperbole, and asked, “What’s your big idea for this wild weekend trip? Show me what you had in mind.”
Katarzyna perked up with enthusiasm and raised her right arm straight up. She then snapped her fingers. In a split second, the surrounding Student Center cafeteria’s crowd switched off into an unmoving trance. Jack did a double take as he stared at the multitude of motionless mannequins that had once been students.
Then, a door-sized portal warped into existence next to Jack’s table. Katarzyna suddenly shapeshifted into a grey, baldheaded being with pointed ears and large eyes. The abrupt transformation sent shivers of horror through Jack’s body.
“I’m going to take you on a tour of my home,” Katarzyna said playfully.
“Where on Earth is that?!” Jack panicked.
“It’s nowhere on Earth. We’re going to the other side of the Milky Way!” Katarzyna smiled like a determined starship captain.
Jack instantly felt a tractor beam wrapping its invisible tentacles around him. He was being levitated into the translucent portal along with Katarzyna. A mind-blowing experience awaited Jack tens of thousands of light years away, and he knew this unprecedented adventure would be more earth-shattering than any asteroid collision.
