DISCLAIMER: The following article is an April Fools’ Day article. Though it may relate to real people or events, it is not factual.
It was announced last Thursday that the university’s under-construction School of Communication and Media building will be re-renovated into a state-of-the-art ball pit/play place for students.
The idea came to Montclair State’s own president Susan Cole when, in passing, she looked at the beams of the tower and thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool to climb up there and look out at our campus? Maybe take a slide to get back down… yeah.”
The already approved revisions were drawn by Cole herself with crayons on a placemat at Six Brothers Diner and are estimated to cost roughly $20 million.
“I believe it will be a great place for students to de-stress and relax in-between classes or just to hang around in” said Cole. “I always loved sneaking into these at my local McDonalds, until they banned me, so why not make one for adults? Just remember to take off your shoes.”
However not many are in favor of the revised building plan, especially the construction workers who have already put so much time into this project.
“I’ve spent the past six months moving beams around with a crane and setting up insulation to now have to take half of it down so we can have a twisty slide go in and out of the building?!” said head contractor Robert Benfer.
Students are having mixed reactions to the new plans, with sophomore Elizabeth Parker saying, “It seems like a waste and won’t help my education, but good luck getting me out of there.”
Meanwhile, senior Brendan Conners said, “Why does the good stuff always happen when you’re about to leave? Oh well. At least I go to climb around on that hawk statue.”
The play place is currently planned to feature five slides, as well as multiple ball pits, the deepest of which will feature a diving board and be 30 feet long. Also planned are multiple netted corridors amongst the plastic jungle that are sure to have students getting their foot caught every six steps.
Indoor climate control is also being planned to keep the area at a constant humid temperature.
“I want it to be nice and moist and sticky. That’s how you know its quality,” Cole commented.
The ball pit is currently slated for a Spring 2017 grand opening.