DISCLAIMER: The following article is an April Fools’ Day article. Though it may relate to real people or events, it is not factual.
The administration at Montclair State University has decided to shut down all Internet access on campus starting Friday, April 1 and ending Thursday, May 12, after the conclusion of the final exam period. The shocking news came directly from the office of President Susan A. Cole on Tuesday, March 29.
Administrators are putting the new Internet policy into effect to help lessen the distractions and improve the grades of every Montclair State student. The new policy is as follows: for the next six weeks, the campus Wi-Fi and all cellular data services that affect electronics on campus will be turned off in compliance with Montclair State’s Office of Information Technology and the area’s cellular providers, including, but not limited to, Verizon, AT&T, Sprint and T-Mobile. The Internet services provided by all electronic devices will only be able to be used for pre-approved educational websites.
Professors and administrators are working together to provide students with an “Allowed Websites List” to show students which web pages they will be allowed access to for homework and studying purposes. This list will not include any social media sites or popular entertainment sites. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, to name a few, will not be accessible on campus. Electronic devices, including game systems, will no longer be able to connect to the Internet in order to lessen the number of distractions students have during the most crucial, last few weeks of the semester.
By stopping the random Internet usage on campus, administrators hope that there will be fewer classroom, homework and studying distractions for every student. The goal is to get students to pay more attention to their in-class lectures and out-of-class assignments to help increase their final averages and exam scores. The administration will be comparing last semester’s final averages to this semester’s to see how the new policy impacts grades. If the policy is proved effective, then it will be applied to the final six weeks of all future semesters.
Cole is elated that the new policy passed. “I hope that every student takes this new policy very seriously and takes the appropriate steps to raise their GPA. We want to give our students the best possible chance to succeed, which is why this policy is perfect,” Cole said after Tuesday’s announcement.
The expressed good intentions of the administration continued when Provost Dr. Willard Gingerich said, “We [administrators] all feel that the reformed Internet policy will greatly impact our students in the most positive of lights. For once, they will have their full attention on their studies. Even if it is a shock at first, this will be the best thing we can do for students in the long run.”
Students are likely to feel the opposite of Cole and Gingerich. It is expected that the students will not agree with the new policy, but it is not up for debate, according to Cole.
Students who are not happy with Montclair State’s latest game-changing policy are encouraged to sign the petition to withdraw the policy at www.aprilfools!.com.