‘Zoolander 2’ is 15 Years Too Late

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Published February 18, 2016
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The Montclarion
Photo courtesy of YouTube

It has been 15 years since the original “Zoolander” was released and, while there has been a long-awaited sequel in the works for years, it was definitely not worth the wait. Both the original and “Zoolander 2” are full of stupid, idiotic humor. However, the first was much funnier and had a better story. As someone who enjoyed the first film and is a fan of Ben Stiller as well as Owen Wilson, seeing “Zoolander 2” was a total disappointment.

Following the first five minutes, the entire film was a trainwreck. The opening scene was, by far, the funniest part of the film, as it featured a certain pop singer (Justin Bieber) being murdered in the streets of Rome, which is also teased in the trailer. However, after the opening credit sequence rolled, the film took a total nose-dive as the writing, acting and story itself were all terrible.

First of all, the story does not really have much of a plot nor does it follow one path. In the film, Derek Zoolander (Stiller) and Hansel (Wilson) get back into modeling to help Zoolander reconnect with his estranged son. Soon after, an opposing company tries to take them out of the modeling business for good.

Throughout the movie, the story falls flat, with a lot of distractions in the form of celebrity cameos and random breaks in the “action.” Granted, some of the cameos gave a small laugh, but it was not enough to sustain the film as a whole.

At the same time, it appeared as though the script was only partially written until the producers could lock down celebrity cameos and then write the rest around them. In fact, the film was so haphazard that it is hard to imagine that it was written in any other way. By writing for cameos, the story loses focus quickly.

In following, one of the worst parts of the film is Penelope Cruz’s character being over-sexualized. Cruz plays an Interpol officer in the fashion division of the agency, which only leads to many eye rolls, as during every scene that Cruz was in, her costumes were low-cut and tight to add sex appeal. This is standard in films, but it was taken too far, as all her dialogue made her seem both idiotic and sexual. However, it was absolutely ridiculous to perceive Cruz in this way because it had zero relevance to the rest of the film. Every female character in the film was treated in the same terrible way, which did not sit well with me.

To be honest, there were too many sexual innuendos throughout the space of the film as well. Most of the script had weird double meanings that should not have been written, as there was simply no point to make creepy, sexual comments in a PG-13 film.

The overall problem with “Zoolander 2” is that it was released 15 years too late. This film may have worked if it was released within five years of the original, but the jokes are too old now and the stupid, pointless humor does not work well in many films anymore.

Simply put, the comedy is no longer relevant, making “Zoolander 2” a total miss. It was a waste to make such a ridiculous film that could not possibly be worth the return on investment. It was a mistake to think that celebrity cameos would draw laughs and a crowd, but even the cameos could not save this film.

In short, do not bother wasting your money to see this in theaters. Do not even waste time with the film on Netflix. It’s only worth watching out of boredom when it goes on cable.

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